


Who Are You Going To Call?

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: 100fandomsdw, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Community: 100fandoms, Dreamwidth, Episode: s01e02 Gorilla War, Exorcisms, Gen, Happy Ending, My First Work in This Fandom, Season/Series 01, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 03:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19190719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Canon divergence. On her way home during episode 1.2 Gorilla War, Alison comes up with a potential solution to her ghost problem.





	Who Are You Going To Call?

Seeing different ghosts at the hospital was a revelation.

"They're not in here," Alison said, tapping her head. "They're out there." This was a relief. She wasn't mad. She was seeing ghosts. That was a different problem but one that might be easier to solve.

"Okay," Mike said, eyes on the road. He wasn't yet convinced but he was trying to be supportive.

Alison patted his shoulder. "Pull over at the next pub you see that's got Wi-Fi."

"Okay," Mike said, this time with more enthusiasm. "I know we're supposed to be saving money but can we please get something to eat?"

"Whatever you want." He deserved a treat while Alison needed some time browsing on her phone.

*

"I'm so glad you can do this tonight," Alison said. "Thank you, Mr Fontaine."

Fontaine nodded. "Philip, please. Of course, of course." He pushed back his glasses onto his nose. "So, shall we go to the house and get started?"

"Yes!" Alison beamed. She and Mike headed out of the pub where they'd spent a pleasant afternoon and into the chill twilight. Fontaine followed, going to his own car.

"Are you sure about this?" Mike asked, as he started the engine. "It seems a bit...extreme."

"Were you going to say expensive? Because yes to both, but if this rids me of the annoyances who are haunting me it'll be money well-spent."

Mike nodded. "Do you think Fontaine is his real name? Seems a bit theatrical if you ask me."

"I don't care," Alison said. "If he's not the real deal then we won't pay him. If he is, then I get a good night's sleep. I miss sleep, Mike."

Mike stayed silent the rest of the way home.

*

"A carriage! Two carriages," Kitty in excitement.

Several of the ghosts gathered to watch.

"Kim Wilde?" Robin asked, moving from the chessboard.

"And her husband," sniffed Fanny. "Do you know I don't think he even owns a tie."

Julian adjusted his tie with a smugness only belied by the fact he was trouser-less.

"Perhaps they've just come back to pack," Pat suggested.

"Who's he?" the Captain demanded, as the newcomer got out of his car. "What's he got there?"

"Looks like a trunk," Kitty said, peering out of the window.

"Trunk? Like elephant?" Robin asked, trying to peer past her and the Captain.

"Who has a trunk in this day and age?" Pat asked.

"Elephant," Robin repeated, and was ignored.

Kitty ran downstairs, asking who their new guest was, but Alison studiously ignored her as she and Mike led the way to the common room.

"Right," Fontaine said, rubbing his hands together. "I'll just get set up."

"Do you need anything?" Alison asked.

"No, no. Got everything right here." He patted the trunk.

Alison nodded. "We'll go and put the kettle on then, let you get started." She and Mike left the room.

Fontaine opened the trunk and began removing items. The ghosts moved closer to watch.

"He's a rather handsome looking fellow," the Captain said, admiring the tall, lithe, Fontaine. "Not sure about the black clothing though. Rather priestly."

"Beastly?" Robin asked. He watched as Fontaine spread a circle of salt around the room.

"Priestly," Pat corrected. "He does look a bit like a priest, maybe some sort of youth minister, do you think?"

Julian shook his head. "No dog collar," he said. "Though I've seen ministers without and non-ministers wearing them. Did I ever tell you about that time we were in Manchester?"

"What is he doing to my floor?" Fanny demanded. "I say, young man, what do you think you're doing?"

Fontaine was now placing black saucers around the circumference of the salt circle.

"We have a table to serve tea on," Fanny informed him haughtily.

"Oh, maybe we're going to have a picnic inside," Kitty said, clapping her hands in delight.

The saucers were not for tea however but for the candles Fontaine laid out next.

"I'm not sure I like this," Thomas said uneasily, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet. "It looks...occult."

They all looked around but Mary was nowhere to be seen and so they were spared a homily about priests and witches.

Fontaine went back to the trunk and placed an amulet around his neck. It had a gold chain with a large gold disc suspended on it. Small red stones studded the edge of the amulet and a large white stone sat in the centre. Robin pointed at the white stone.

"Moonah stonah!"

"Yes, rather does look like one," Julian agreed. "Do you think it's one of those roleplaying things? Alison and Mike are going to show up dressed in old fashioned clothing - some offence, Thomas and Fanny - and, er, have this gentleman bless their union. As it were."

Fanny scowled, indignant.

Fontaine busied himself lighting the candles. When that was done, he placed a silver goblet inside the circle and poured water into it from a blue glass bottle. Alison and Mike returned just as Fontaine brought out a censer, lighting the contents.

"I believe this is some sort of religious mockery," the Captain said, pacing the floor. "Quite unacceptable. Explain yourself, Alison!"

Alison was clutching a mug in her hands and ignoring the Captain as best she could. "Oh, you've been busy, Mr Fontaine. It's all very atmospheric."

"That's one word for it," Mike said, his tone overbright. "Looks a bit creepy," he whispered to Alison but she ignored him too.

Fontaine bowed his head. "I'm almost ready. I would ask that you remain silent once the ritual begins."

Mike mimed zipping his mouth shut. Alison nodded.

"Alison, my beloved, what is going on? Who is this man?" Thomas asked.

Fontaine placed an open book in the centre of the circle. He cleared his throat, lifted the censer. "Spirits of the dead," he intoned, walked around the circle. "I call to you." The incense seemed to cling to the boundary above the salt.

"Oh, he's talking to us! Maybe he can see us," Julian said.

"Hello!" Kitty bustled over to address Fontaine but came up short as if she'd walked into a wall. "Oh!"

"Katherine?" the Captain asked.

Kitty held out her hand, pressed it against the invisible border. She looked like a mime exploring a glass box. "There's something here. I can't walk through it."

"I have a terrible feeling about this," Thomas said and he wasn't the only one.

The Captain strode over to Alison, though he had to detour around an armchair to avoid the circle. "Now look here," he said, "I don't know what the meaning of this is but I demand you put a stop to it at once."

Fontaine placed the censer down and took up the book. "Sprits of the dead," he said.

"We heard you the first time," Fanny sniffed.

"I say to you now. By the powers of the earth," Fontaine said. "And the air. And the fire. And the water. By the heavens above and the underworld below."

The room became cold. Mike and Thomas both shivered.

Fanny reached out one hand and beckoned. "Kitty, come away," she said, her voice shaking. Kitty didn't argue, silently scurrying over to stand at Fanny's side. Fanny took her hand.

"It's an exorcism," Thomas said.

"Are you sure?" Julian said. "Because there was this sex dungeon I visited in Soho-"

"Sprits of the dead, I banish you," Fontaine said, raising his voice.

Julian's face fell. "Right, exorcism. Yes."

"You're trying to get rid of us?" the Captain asked, standing in front of Alison. "How dare you!"

"She can't get rid of us? Can she?" Kitty asked.

Alison sipped at her tea, knuckles white as she gripped the mug. Mike slipped one around her waist. He looked as uneasy as the ghosts did.

"You are not welcome in this house," Fontaine said. "You are not welcome on this land. You will leave this place and find your rest!"

Pat shook his head, gave a shaky laugh. "That's the thing isn't it, we can't find rest, that's why we're here you daft numpty!"

Fontaine did not hear and so could not respond to Pat's cheerful attempt to dissuade him from the ritual.

"I banish you," Fontaine said, and began an incantation in a strange language.

Julian tipped his head. "That's not Latin. I thought exorcisms were always in Latin. He's probably a fraud…I say." He staggered.

"Julian?" the Captain asked.

Julian put one hand to his chest. "Just feeling a bit off. It is hot in here? Can't catch my breath…" He tugged at his collar. "Might vomit..."

"Oh....oh...."

The other ghosts turned to look at Thomas. The wound on his torso had begun bleeding. Pat ran over to him. "Er, apply pressure," he said but he began to gasp for air.

"My God," the Captain said in horror. "Stop this you reprobate!" He struck at the circle but his swagger stick rebounded off the invisible barrier.

"Oh no," Alison whispered. "They're reliving their deaths!" If she'd not been so stunned she might have chosen re-experiencing rather than reliving but she was shocked by what she was witnessing.

Kitty's lip trembled. She began to cry but was interrupted by a coughing fit. Fanny tried to comfort her but was soon being dragged away to the upper floor where she would not doubt be forced to re-enact her death again, but for the last time. She shrieked as she was pulled backwards. Robin tried to hold onto her as she went past, but her hands slipped through his.

Mary's screams echoed through the house. Alison dropped her mug. The Captain paled. "Stop him, Alison. Please!"

Alison looked at Robin who was now howling, head thrown back, vanishing from sight. At Julian, doubled up on the floor. At Kitty, wracked with coughing fits, blood dripping from her nose and tears pouring down her face. Thomas fell to the floor, Pat kneeling next to him, the hand he tried to place on Thomas's shoulder already fading from view.

Alison shook her head. She addressed the Captain. "Where will you go? Heaven? Hell?"

"I don't know. Perhaps nowhere," the Captain said huskily, distinctly grey-faced now. "Extinguished forever."

"Alison?" Fontaine asked sharply. "I did ask for silence and the ritual's almost done." 

The Captain's feet faded, leaving him floating as his eyes rolled back in his head.

"No! The ritual is over," Alison said. She moved forward, scrubbing at the salt line with one foot.

The incense bled out into the room. Robin stopped howling and Mary's screams faded. Pat took a deep breath, lifted his hands both of which were visible again.

"I don't understand," Fontaine wailed. "You said you wanted me to exorcise the house! I haven't done an exorcism in two years!"

Alison sighed. "I changed my mind. I'm sorry. We'll still pay you."

"Don't bother," Fontaine snapped, throwing his supplies into the trunk. "I don't need your charity!" He angrily blew out each candle, casting annoyed glances at Alison as he did so. The goblet got emptied onto the floor making a wet patch.

Alison moved to crouch near Kitty. "I'm sorry," she said. "Are you all right?"

Kitty sat on the floor, rubbing at her face with one sleeve. The blood was gone. "Yes. I think so. Still dead of course."

"I didn't know it would hurt you," Alison said. "I just thought it would banish you - make you move out."

"You don't like us?"

"You've all been driving me to distraction," Alison pointed out. "You were trying to make me leave."

Kitty's lip trembled again. "I just wanted to be your friend."

Fontaine slammed the lid of the trunk. "You're mad to let them haunt you," he said frostily.

"I'll show you out," Mike said in a tone that brooked no argument and the two men left the room.

The Captain cleared his throat, smoothing down his jacket as if he feared it had been creased in the kerfuffle. "Thank you, Alison. That was highly unpleasant. Is everyone all right?"

"I may have to write a poem about the terror of having Death's cruel hand clasped around my heart once again, but otherwise yes," Thomas said, getting to his feet. Pat clapped him on the shoulder.

Julian sat in the armchair. "I really shouldn't have done all those drugs before such exertion," he said. "I'd forgotten how awful it all was. It happened rather quicker the first time I believe. Damn exorcism!"

Fanny returned, head held high. "A lady does not try to exorcise people!"

Mary joined them, lamenting the heat of the flames and choking smoke, Robin grunting in agreement.

"I'm sorry," Alison said again. "Maybe I can sell up and move. Get one of those soulless new builds I hate."

"Soulless," Julian said, giving a laugh. "In style and in the lack of ghosts, yes?"

Alison stared at him and then laughed. "Yes. I suppose so."

Mike joined them. "So Mr Fontaine wasn't happy. What happened?"

"You couldn't see it but it was awful." Alison wished she could hug Kitty to comfort her. She stood and moved to stand by Mike. "It was like they were being tortured. I wanted them gone but not like that."

Mike wrapped his arms around her. "I get it. You're not cruel or mean hearted. That's something I love about you."

Kitty made sounds of adoration at this declaration.

"Um, did I hear you mention moving?" Mike asked. "Because about that..."

Everyone listened as Mike explained the certain bankruptcy that would result from attempting to leave the house.

"Should have got a better financial adviser," Julian said. "Could recommend you a couple of people, assuming they're still around and not in jail or fled to a country with no extradition treaties."

""I only took out those loans because I thought it was what you wanted." Mike gave a desperate smile. "Did I tell you how much I love you?" 

Alison nodded. She kissed him. "It'll be okay," she said. "We'll make this work."

She turned to face the ghosts. "All right. There are going to be some ground rules. This is my house now. But it's also where you all - live is the wrong word."

"Reside?" suggested Fanny.

"Inhabit," the Captain added.

"Dwell," Thomas put in.

"It's your home too," Alison went on. "So let's hear it. What do you want, exactly. One at a time!"

And so Alison and Mike and the ghosts of Button House formed an understanding, the first rule of which was no more exorcisms, and the second of which was no hiding in the fridge.

The first rule Alison followed ever after. The second rule Robin broke within the week but that was ghosts for you.

**Author's Note:**

> For the 100 fandoms prompt 'home'
> 
> We don’t have the full stories behind all the deaths so far, so I took some liberties. Julian's sex scandal death may perhaps have involved drugs leading to a heart attack. I alluded to typhoid for Kitty. Maybe we'll get more backstories in season 2!


End file.
